Sunday!!

Ok so I fucked up. I didn't study and I had a meltdown driving to work today. I felt like crap and then I thought what would my mom say. She would say I need to get my ass into gear and fucking study. Actually there would be more cursing and slamming and banging of her hand onto tables. Then all of the sudden on the radio a song came on. Celia Cruz was on the radio and that was one of my moms favourite songs. Then I knew she was in the car with me. So I put myself in a dilemma. I am excited about school. I love the classes and I love the school. Its an actual University and Im proud to look at my acceptance letter. I have graduated college twice but from small schools and I wanted to make a difference as a single mom and in my career. So basically I started week 3 late. I did all assignments except read my book. The reason for one of my classes is because I didnt have it. I got it late and stupid me I didnt pay attention which one I needed. I had two books waiting for me at the bookstore and I returned the wrong one. I started to read one but then I thought the chapters didnt match the syllabus. OH FUCK!!. I also spent a little too much on shoes and I didnt have enough for the book. And I have been driving an hour one way twice this week to help my dad chop wood. So I was exhausted from that. Well I lost 2 days plus I fucked around one day healing inbetween from chopping wood and then I did some school work but not all. So now its Sunday. And there is a test on all three chapters. I woke up at 4am tried to get a ebook in textbook form. Yea well I dont have the dough and the ebook is more money than renting (weird) and If I rent I have to wait in the mail for it and I need it for the test. So what I did was the next best thing. See if Barnes and Nobles has it in store and go there and read the first 3 chapters and then go home and do the test. Well I called while at work and they DID NOT FUCKING HAVE IT!! Sooooo I searched for ebooks that were cheap. I found a good website that let me sample the book. YESSS!!! And NOOOOO!!!. I got a sample allright. I got 1 goddam chapter. And I read the book in bed. Stupid me. Cause I fell asleep between chapters (naughty fucking me) But then I got to the end of ch 1. It says if you want to read more buy the ebook or rent the ebook. Then I went to the website to take my test. It says you have to do it at 5pm. It was 3:49Pm. FUCK ME and I have an hour to do the test. Well I log on and do the test without the rest of the book to read. Sure enough there was only fucking 10 questions and 8 of the 10 questions were in chapter 1 and I got 8 out of 10 right. FUCK me. Yes an 80% is good. But I could have done better. Its a mark on me and I feel like crap. I somehow made it without fully reading the book and being so tired from work and other demands of the week. But it goes to show that I am fully a procrastinator and I need to change.